Testing

bot.js

@@ -1,182 +1,124 @@
 var HTTPS = require('https');
-var cool = require('cool-ascii-faces');
 
 var botID = process.env.BOT_ID;
 
 function respond() {
   var request = JSON.parse(this.req.chunks[0]),
-      botRegex = /^\/cool guy/;  botRegexDL = /^\/DDL/i;botRegexSalt = /^\/salt/;botRegexRules = /^\/rules/
-      botRegexAd=/^\/advance/;botRegexGTA = /^\/gta/; botRegexSC = /^\/SDL/i; botODB = /(.*\s+)(.*odb)(\s+.*)/i; botDuck = /^\/duck/;
-      botRegexP = /^\/PDL/i;  botRegexTw = /^\/twitch/i; botRegexSb = /^\/sub/; botRegexSh = /^\/shrug/; botRegexWk = /^\/users/; botRegexCC = /^\/cc/;
-      botRegexSiege = /^\/siege/; botRegexOW = /^\/ratings/; 
-      botRegexSlut = /^\/slut/; botRegexStop = /^\/stop/;
-      botRegexProp = /^\/prop/;botRegexKys = /^\/kys/; botRegexSlam = /^\/slam/; botRegexBrye = /^\/brye/;
-      botRegexGian = /^\/gian/; botRegexScrotes = /^\/scrotes/; botRegexShaki = /^\/shaki/;
-      botRegexDaf = /^\/dafuq/; botRegexMA32 = /^\/pending/; botRegexTrade = /^\/trade/; 
-      siege1 = 'https://i.groupme.com/350x419.png.adc8c73a6c1547e0a9e04320296329f8'; siege2 = 'https://i.groupme.com/1279x752.jpeg.aa5d0401e0df495bba4b4e09dc5a6bd7'
-      siege3 = 'https://i.groupme.com/960x960.png.006e180e05d841c6a2962e844bf1e6fd';
-  var teamAb = ["NE","NO","ARI","PHI","CLE","TEN","OAK","DAL","IND","SEA","CIN","PIT","JAC"
-                ,"BAL","SD","DEN","MIN","ATL","KC","NYG","GB","DET","HOU","STL","CHI","CAR",
-                "MIA","BUF","SF","WAS","NYJ","TB"]
+
+  botRegex = /(\s|^)(B|b)ot(\s|$)/;  botRegexTi = /(.*)(T|t)itan(.*)/;botRegexBi = /(.*)(B|b)itch(.*)/
+  botRegexBk = /(.*)(B|b)oss kill(.*)/;botRegexAr = /(.*)(A|a)rena cutoff(.*)/;botRegexPr = /(.*)(P|p)restige link(.*)/;
+  botRegexFu = /(.*)(F|f)uck (Y|y)ou(.*)/;botRegexHg = /Graves/;botRegexFf = /(.*)(B|b)(R|r)(A|a|U|u)(H|h)(.*)/;
+  botRegexDo = /\/(D|d)onations/;botRegex6 = /\/(M|m)ap6$/;botRegex61 = /\/(M|m)ap6[.]1$/;botRegex62 = /\/(M|m)ap6[.]2$/;
+  botRegex63 = /\/(M|m)ap6[.]3$/;botRegexLe = /\/(L|l)egend$/;botRegexSc = /(\s|^)(S|s)crew (Y|y)ou(\s|$)/;
+
+  var phraseArray = ["#?",
+                    "#wtf",
+                    "#saymyname",
+                    "#24msgs",
+                    "#omv",
+                    "#legend",
+                    "#iamgroot",
+                    "#telomere",
+                     "http://pix.iemoji.com/images/emoji/apple/ios-9/256/lion-face.png",
+                    "#here"];
+  var phrase = chooseRandom(phraseArray);
+  var phraseArray2 = ["#2fast",
+                    "#2furious",
+                    "#ask any racer. any real racer",
+                    "#for those 10 seconds or less, I'm free",
+                    "#i'll have the tuna. no crust",
+                    "#still a buster",
+                    "#ejecto seato, cuz!",
+                    "#too soon, junior",
+                    "#it's a ho-asis in here, brah",
+                    "#rideordie",
+                    "#i never narc'd on nobody",
+                    "#overnight parts from japan"];
+  var phrase2 = chooseRandom(phraseArray2);
+
   if(request.text && botRegex.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage(cool());
+    postMessage(phrase);
     this.res.end();
   }
-  else if(request.text && botRegexSlut.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://i.groupme.com/640x364.jpeg.f8a0e216bf7e42ed9a86b3ae23cc2ff1.large");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexStop.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("Stop appropriating black culture");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexProp.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://i.groupme.com/409x327.jpeg.08b5d95c51bb4897835cfe6b514f2f52.large");
-    this.res.end();
-  }
-  else if(request.text && botRegexKys.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("http://www.wikihow.com/Tie-a-Noose");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexSlam.test(request.text)) {
+  else if(request.text && botRegexTi.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/587294731471757313/ZpI5PfKq.jpg");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexDaf.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/787/356/d6f.jpg");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexBrye.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://i.groupme.com/600x490.jpeg.b31d5153fb474d9bb18dd51b3d650afe.large");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexGian.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("http://i.imgur.com/9V6ZnvD.png");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexScrotes.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://i.groupme.com/1006x1340.jpeg.730381e4280e4028b8375432af14f39f.large");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexShaki.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://i.groupme.com/305x375.jpeg.a8dd3aa18c7a4963a553e6dc16bcb100.large");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexDL.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    //postMessage("http://www.daddyleagues.com/maddenrating?name=&position=all&team="+request.text.substring(5,8));
-    postMessage("http://daddyleagues.com/maddenall32/team/"+request.text.substring(5,8)+"/depthchart");
+    postMessage("#hebackyet?");
     this.res.end();
   } 
 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexOW.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("www.daddyleagues.com/maddenrating/");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexSalt.test(request.text)) {
+  else if(request.text && botRegexBi.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://i.imgur.com/B5BSVqH.png");
+    postMessage("#thatbih");
     this.res.end();
   } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexAd.test(request.text)) {
+  else if(request.text && botRegexBk.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("http://www.hackcollege.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/kno_advance.jpg");
+    postMessage("#bosskillah");
     this.res.end();
-  }
-  else if(request.text && botRegexRules.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hSuEG7oplnx4IX6HGsMOjsWb9TCqC4-F1NLjuBz5PCM/edit");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexGTA.test(request.text)) {
-    this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://i.groupme.com/220x147.jpeg.a2dd2add32b14fff9e329535186d793c.large");
-    this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexSC.test(request.text)) {
+  }  
+  else if(request.text && botRegexAr.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-
-    postMessage("http://daddyleagues.com/maddenall32/team/"+request.text.substring(5,8)+"/schedule");
+    postMessage("https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1sJtSVnjhhRNxpiuMR5uXrsTlrsXMjp9TNO7JHDXhtsk/htmlview?pli=1");
     this.res.end();
-  }
-  else if(request.text && botRegexP.test(request.text)) {
+  }  
+  else if(request.text && botRegexPr.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    var req = request.text.substring(5,request.text.length);
-    var rep = req.replace(/ /,"+");
-    postMessage("http://daddyleagues.com/maddenall32/players?name="+rep+"&position=all&team=all");
-
+    postMessage("https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/13oEg8HzEB11-il7o4mBDUpPx-s2hnPvRa1PSMgpxyYE/edit?usp=sharing");
     this.res.end();
   }  
-
-  else if(request.text && botRegexTw.test(request.text)) {
+  else if(request.text && botRegexFu.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("http://www.twitch.tv/"+request.text.substring(8,request.text.length));
+    postMessage("#Me?? Fuq you!");
     this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexSb.test(request.text)) {
+  }
+  else if(request.text && botRegexHg.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("http://www.reddit.com/r/maddenall32");
+    if(Math.random() >= 0.9)
+      postMessage("http://pix.iemoji.com/images/emoji/apple/ios-9/256/lion-face.png");
     this.res.end();
   } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexSh.test(request.text)) {
+  else if(request.text && botRegexFf.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("¯\\_(ツ)_/¯");
+    postMessage(phrase2);
     this.res.end();
   } 
-  else if(request.text && botRegexWk.test(request.text)) {
+  else if(request.text && botRegexDo.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1kJqQWCq3RKiTrd4f71FFNKr-Y0ppJzjk0fSF0rP6Bto/edit?usp=sharing");
+    postMessage("GO: 170k\nBC: 46k\nLO: 15k");
     this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botODB.test(request.text)) {
+  }
+  else if(request.text && botRegex6.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("OBJ*");
+    postMessage("http://marvelbitvachempionov.ru/wp-content/uploads/maps/aqmap6en.jpg");
+    postMessage("https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1qi-3KOfLnI0c4YL4b9CB85e1OXw4HmtaVaCbbUR4aOs/htmlview");
     this.res.end();
-  } 
-  else if(request.text && botDuck.test(request.text)) {
+  }
+  else if(request.text && botRegex61.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("http://media3.giphy.com/media/YCseTHF2I6CCA/giphy.gif");
+    postMessage("http://marvelbitvachempionov.ru/wp-content/uploads/maps/aqmap6-1en.jpg");
     this.res.end();
   }
-  else if(request.text && botRegexCC.test(request.text)) {
+  else if(request.text && botRegex62.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://i.groupme.com/851x1184.jpeg.330228901f684b0cb46cd1cef6953923");
+    postMessage("http://marvelbitvachempionov.ru/wp-content/uploads/maps/aqmap6-2en.jpg");
     this.res.end();
   }
-  else if(request.text && botRegexMA32.test(request.text)) {
+  else if(request.text && botRegex63.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12hVrn7ShR3An6bP5uBF3gaoTQQgVciC-0RqtWVZ39Ls/edit?usp=sharing");
+    postMessage("http://marvelbitvachempionov.ru/wp-content/uploads/maps/aqmap6-3en.jpg");
     this.res.end();
   }
-  else if(request.text && botRegexTrade.test(request.text)) {
+  else if(request.text && botRegexLe.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage("https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdrbe5iBRaBC7EWoodVm8z6285-dG2EdHXAOMOgz8md8T1jwQ/viewform");
+    postMessage("http://community.kabam.com/forums/showthread.php?650203-Hall-of-Legends&p=3307845#post3307845");
     this.res.end();
   }
-
-  else if(request.text && botRegexSiege.test(request.text)) {
+  else if(request.text && botRegexSc.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    if(0.6 >= Math.random() > 0.3)
-      postMessage(siege1);
-    else if(Math.random() >0.6)
-      postMessage(siege3)
-    else
-      postMessage(siege2);
+    postMessage("https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/cb/91/72/cb9172eba64a409ebc3422a3c22ba6e7.jpg");
     this.res.end();
   }
-
   else {
     console.log("don't care");
     this.res.writeHead(200);
@@ -219,6 +161,10 @@ function postMessage(response) {
   botReq.end(JSON.stringify(body));
 }
 
+function chooseRandom(myArray) {
+  return myArray[Math.floor(Math.random() * myArray.length)];
+}
+
 function getRandomInt(min, max) {
   return Math.floor(Math.random() * (max - min)) + min;
 }